Today was the day 16 years ago that my mom died. Normally I know that it is coming up so I am prepared for it. I end up being melancholy for a few days & get through it. But this year, it blindsided me. I hadn't even thought about it until now even though I knew what day it was.
I was checking a tracking number to see when a factory recieved a package & saw the date & it hit me what today was. I would love to say that every year it gets easier but it doesn't. It's just a different type of feeling every year. Some years are better than others. Last year was hard since I was getting married in a few months. This year not as bad obviously since I didn't think about it until today.
I always wonder what she would think of me today. Would she be happy with the person I am? Would she be proud of me for my accomplishments? Or would she be dissapointed because of the mistakes I've made? Would she like my husband? Would she like what I am doing with my life?
Of course I will never know the answers. I think that is the hardest part. Since I was so young, I will never know what she thought of how I turned out. And she never got a chance to see.